WOW!!! It’s been one heck of a long time since I’ve been in the blog world!
My sweet friend, Lauren Kelly, kindly reminded me today! Truth is, her text came at exactly the right moment; I’ve been thinking about Divine Little Moments a lot lately and how much I’ve missed using all of you as my “ears”.
I wish I could tell y’all where I have been all this time, or give you some sort of reason as to why I haven’t written. Honestly, I don’t have one. I could say I’ve been “busy” or “overwhelmed” with work and school but that’s not it. I think I was just too afraid of what I might write. Like if I wrote into words what I felt, then it would be real. And I wasn’t ready for that. Not then anyways.
I have
never thought I needed to go through a time of “finding” myself. This past year proved me wrong. The past year drug me through dirt. However, I could not be more thankful for 2009. Mister ’09 taught me to love myself, rather than depend on others to. It taught me compassion, grace, and mercy. It taught me that love shouldn’t make your heart feel like a thousand pieces on the ground. It taught me to run from the things that pull me down and run towards the ones that force me up. It showed me that eating “Humble Pie” is only to make me a better person if I learn from it. It taught me to say sorry. It taught me to cry. Most importantly, it opened my eyes to the blessings I have.
Good news is; it’s only been 36 days but this is by far
the BEST year of my LIFE.It’s a bit ironic that I feel this way, as this is NOT the year I had planned for my life. Funny how that works huh? I find myself coming home to a quiet apartment every night. I find myself with more bills than I have ever had in the past 5 years combined. I find myself revisiting who I call “friend” more than I ever have in my entire life. The icing on the cake being: I’m single.
These could really throw me into a pit faster than I could blink if I let it. And at times, I find myself clawing to stay out of one.
However, I wouldn’t give any of this up for the world. The quiet apartment gives me a moment to escape the craziness outside of it. The bills make me feel blessed for the job I have and the money I make in order to pay them. The singleness gives me a focus that I’ve never had. I am more focused on school, and most of all, God.
So here’s to the best year thus far, and knowing the BEST IS YET TO COME!